Once upon a time there were three Billy Goats, who were to go up the hillside to increase their mass, and the family name of the goats was Gonzalez.

On the way up was a bridge, over a river, which they had to cross, and under the bridge there lived an intolerant Racist Troll with blonde hair and blue eyes.

First of all came the youngest Billy Goat Gonzalez over the bridge. “Trip, trap; trip, trap!” went the bridge.

“Who's that tripping over my bridge?” forcefully inquired the Racist Troll.

“Oh, it is only I, the Caucasian Billy Goat Gonzalez, and I'm going up the hillside to increase my mass,” said the Billy Goat, with such a small voice.

“Now, I'm coming to socially ostracize you,” said the Racist Troll.

“Oh, no, do not take me. I'm too white, that I am,” said the Caucasian Billy Goat. “Wait a bit till the Asian Lesbian Billy Goat Gonzalez comes, she's much more easily taken advantage of.”

“Well, off be with you,” said the Racist Troll.

A little while after came the Asian Lesbian Billy Goat Gonzalez across the bridge.

“Trip, trap; trip, trap!” went the bridge.

“Who's that tripping over my bridge?” forcefully inquired the Racist Troll.

“Oh, it's the Asian Lesbian Billy Goat Gonzalez, and I'm going up the hillside to increase my mass,” said the Billy Goat. She had a much more masculine voice.

“Now, I'm coming to socially ostracize you,” said the Racist Troll.

“Oh, no, don't take me. Wait a little till the Portly African-American Vegetarian Billy Goat comes, she's much more easily taken advantage of.”

“Very well! Be off be with you,” said the Racist Troll.

But just then came the Portly African-American Vegetarian Billy Goat Gonzalez.

“Trip, trap; trip, trap!” went the bridge.

“Who's that tramping on my bridge?” forcefully inquired the Racist Troll.

“It is I, the Portly African-American Vegetarian Billy Goat Gonzalez, and I'm going up the hillside to increase my mass,” said the Billy Goat, and she had a well-educated voice.

“Now, I'm coming to socially ostracize you!” said the Racist Troll.

“Well come! I have Affirmative Action,
With it I bring Jesse Jackson;
I have besides a unified Democratic Party
With which I'll destroy your social dominance!”

That was what the Portly African-American Vegetarian Billy Goat said; so she sued the Racist Troll for his bigotry, ending his long-standing reign of racist control, and after that she went up to the hillside.

There the Billy Goats increased their mass so much that they were scarcely able to walk home again. And if they haven't grown thinner, they are out suing other racists; and so,

“Practice toleration
and social moderation.”